While we wait to see if it will ever, in this lifetime, be apart of my journey to dig in that crawl space. Somehow… Today I feel a lot more peace about what may or may not be.
Let us cut the ropes that keep us tied to the things that weigh us down.
The huge net of experiences we have during our lifetimes are interwoven. Ultimately, they can help us learn who we want to become and where it is that we want to go.
Or in the mix of frustration, anger, helplessness,…. All those feelings that we, all of us, have felt. We can get tied up in the whirlwind of confusion keeping ourselves grounded to the same spot unknowingly not cutting ourselves free from the experiences that caused these anchors. Our individual life stopping shank’s that keep us from flying and living the happy life we dream of.
No matter how much warmth and love we surround ourselves with or fill our balloons of life with. We can’t ever get full enough for takeoff if we don’t cut the ropes that keep us grounded in the same hopeless spot.
I realized that I have been airborne for quite some time. And good job for me for even getting off the ground. But, without even realizing it, until this morning, I have always kept myself tied to my past. Double knotted to my heavy loaded basket. I worked so hard daily on trying to stay lifted up above my past sorrows and pain. That I never stopped to look back at the ropes I still had tied to my past. I suppose I never realized the responsibility I took upon myself for another’s bad choices. I held onto the guilt of knowing what had happened and tied a double knot in that connection to that sorrow. Regardless of all the different avenues, I took to find the freedom to fly I just could not take flight. Floating hovering, loving life yes. But, flying no.
It was liberating when my step-sister told me that my step-father had died it was almost as if someone cut the rope I didn’t have the strength or knowledge on how to cut. That particular rope of frustration and anger that kept me tied to my past, severed, just simply was not a part of my life I needed to worry about any longer. He was gone.
Yes, John did get away with murder. He did. At least in this lifetime. But, those acts of his will forever keep him from flying. He spent a lifetime of hiding, living in his frustrated dark cold world. He’ll expect nothing more in the life to come. Yet, I have spent a lifetime learning how to fly as far away from him and those memories as I could. I never realized that it was me that needed to cut the rope that kept me connected to him. Cut the rope and throw it over and away from my basket. Give all those blessings I have been given, the power they were intended to have. I have been promised to be set free, free to fly above the challenges I have courageously conquered. Now Each time the fire is stoked when I feel that soft but powerful warmth come over me putting more air of positive, hopeful, light into my life balloon, I’m not going to hold it back. I’m going to let it fly.
My life, as well as yours, has been full of gusts of windy trials. The ropes or challenges are essential for the ride. They keep us connected and held together constant reminders of who we are and where it is we are headed. But, they don’t have to be a constant anchor.
Those ropes can be manoeuvred and strategically placed to get us to the right destination or keep us hovering just above the ground. Far enough away that you keep your dreams in sight yet, not completely away from the anchors that hold you down away from them. I felt like the very heavens cut that rope for me this last week.
The heavens cut the ropes that kept me tied to the things that weighed me down. The net of experiences I have had during my lifetime is interwoven. Ultimately they can help me learn who I want to become and where it is that I want to go. The eternal perspective that I have right at this moment. As if looking down upon my entire life. It all looks and seems so small insignificant in comparison to the vast future and unlimited opportunities that await me.
The words the Savior said, “Cast the net on the right side of the ship…,”(1) That’s what I will do. I’m going to take my tangled net of ropes and cast it to the other side of the boat like the Savior told his disciples to do. Just because my life may not have unraveled the way I had imagined it to, doesn’t change the fact that it is unraveling and it is up to me to see the beauty in the design of the rope, and cut the anchors that stop me and fly in the direction I was intended to travel. Thanks for travelling with me. Let us together have faith in the course the wind blows and faith in the captain of our destinies. Love you!
ps. I have had a lot of people want more personal stories on how to overcome such tangled experiences and how I did it, how I would suggest they do it. I promise in the upcoming weeks I will share with you. While we wait to see if it will ever in this lifetime be apart of my journey to dig in that crawl space. Somehow… Today I feel a lot more peace about what may or may not be.