Happiness and Mourning through the loss of a Loved one

girl in graveyard free on wikipediaThe hardest question that I have been asked so far is, “Shawna how can I be happy when my mom died, my dad died and then my brother died.  How can I be happy when I feel so alone?”

This has been a hard one for me to answer.  I have seen some of the most horrific things!  Forced to watch while life was being drained from kids that I had grown to love. read more  And crazy as this sounds when my black lab was killed. I mourned for years. She was the one thing in this world that took care of me as a child.  So yes, it’s hard probably one of the hardest things I have dealt with.  Not because I didn’t know for a surety of where these kids went.  I knew without a doubt that there was a heaven. christ and me I lived in Hell and our Father in Heaven testified to me on numerous accounts that he was there, and the pain and suffering was very temporary. That’s the key word temporary… it’s ok and expected that we will go through a mourning process and no one should feel bad about that.

What was hard, was being here on earth.  Wanting to go where they were, in Heaven.  Not understanding why, I had to stay here and not just go back home where rest, peace, happiness, and love had encircled me during my hardest trials.  I longed to be there.

But here is what helped me.  I have found that questions are best answered by asking more questions and seeking the truth out.

2-11 facebook some one is depending on youWhy was I still here?  Why are you still here?  There are some of us who seem to magically live through life-threatening circumstances.  And others who are taken from us in some freak accident.  When I stopped to think, ponder, and pray for the answer to, “Why am I still here?”  I found the answer.  I am still needed here.  You are still needed here.

Next thing to do is find out what you are needed for.  Most assuredly you will find rather than what but, who is it that still needs you here?  When you find your answers glistening off the tears in a needy neighbors’ eyes, or echoing in the sound of a child’s laughter, or my personal favorite…. When you see, hear, and feel hope radiating from someone that desperately needs to be understoodme emma and Krissy and you are the one blessed enough to be there for them…. You are the one that understands their need because you yourself have felt it. At those moments when your question is answered.  “Why am I still here?”   At that time you know without a doubt why you are still here.  When you feel the consuming warmth that floods over you at the truth only Heaven can provide.  You will know without a doubt why you are still here.  You will find happiness.  When your soul is connected to the path Heaven has mapped out for you.  When you understand your purpose I promise happiness comes.

To answer the question, “How can I be happy when I have lost my loved ones…” Find out the reason you are still here.  I can most assuredly tell you, your answer lies within the need of someone else.    As you go about your work you will feel it within your heart, the love and encouragement from your loved ones who are just beyond the veil.  They are still all around you!  They still love you!  They still need you to do things they can no longer do.  And you need them to do things you cannot do yet.  We are in this together.  Life does not end.  great video on angels Mercy River Five-Minute Fireside on Angels

It’s a series of steps in the path of progression.  For our own personal progression, it is essential that we step forward, find those that need us, get lost in service, and you will feel the pain and sorrow being replaced by peace and joy.   This is not something you can do once and be fixed.  It is an answer that can be implemented throughout your entire journey in this life.  I still have ups and downs as you will too.  But the downs go away, and the ups are more frequent.  I promise as you lose yourself in the service of others, you will find your purpose, hope and happiness will replace your feelings of despair.

A friend of mine, Mat posted this on his blog last week.  It’s so great and has answers to this question in it.  If you get a minute to read it, you’ll love it.

https://praythrice.blogspot.com/2019/02/serve-others.html  Another great article to read on this same subject.





Why would he let this happen to me?

Why would he let this happen to me?  This was the question of the week.

The question so often asked by victims is, “Why, if there is a kind loving God, why did he let that happen to me?  That’s a great question.  One I have even asked myself on occasion.  Not because I didn’t believe he was there for me or that he didn’t care.  But I knew he had the power to stop bad people, so why didn’t he?

deaf and blindI think the answer to that question must first start with a few questions.  Who are those people that you admire most?  Why?  What about them do you admire?  I’ll tell you the top 3 that come to my mind: Helen Keller, President Lincoln, and Joseph Smith.  I could go on with a list of people that I admire and look up to including my family and friends.  But, for the sake of a shorter answer, I won’t.

12 rainbows after the stormI hope you took a moment to think about your personal heroes.  Now tell me, did they have a carefree, not one trial or tribulation happened in their lives?  Was it nothing but rainbows and sunshine that smiled joseph in liberty jaildown upon their lives.

All of the greatest heroes in history had tribulation.  The ones that really stand out on the google search bar overcame enormous adversity. The hero that I reflect on often is Joseph Smith.  Why him?  Because he was the first person that I had ever heard say that he received an answer to his prayer.  That God was real.  I knew God was real he had answered my prayers, but my stepfamily refused to believe me.  The fact that Joseph knew and had experienced persecution from it too, made him instantly my friend.  change the way we view the worldHe understood me.  And I understood him.

Joseph was locked in a dungeon (Liberty Jail) and cried to the Father. I was locked in John’s dungeon, I also cried to the Father.  Why do you have your heroes?  Did you decide who your hero was from your experiences?  From your own personal dungeons?

Jeffery R Holland said and I quote because it is so very profound and can’t be reworded.  “You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life – in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced. read more

And I am here as living proof to testify that this is true!   No one would ever choose to relive their trials.  However, everyone should be able to look back and say what have I learned.  How can I become a better person despite it or even because of it?

Spencer W. Kimbal words echo in my head often. “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.  It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility.  All that we suffer and all that we endure especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.” Faith Proceeds the Miracle

In no way do I believe our Father in Heaven wants us to be abused by others. But,  he did know that some of his children would make bad choices, hurting others in the process.  In answer to that question: Why did he allow this to happen to me?  I must first ask one more question, “What are we doing here on this earth?”  Once we realize we are here to obtain a body and choose to become like our Father in Heaven or choose not to.  The answer always leads back to one word. Agency, something of which was one of the most prized possessions our Father in Heaven gave to each of his children.  Something of which he will never take away.  However, if we find ourself innocently in the path of someone else’s bad choices and we become victims it is not from a lack of love from our Heavenly Father.  He will make up for their abuse.  He can’t take away their right to act.  But he can and will compensate for it if we allow him too.  I can tell you with every fiber of my being that it was in the darkest, ugliest, horrific times in my life where the veil between Heaven and Earth became very thin for me.  I know because of those times, without a doubt, that there is a Heaven, the separation we experience from life and death is but a small moment.  That there is a God.  And he does hear our prayers.  Have faith in his timing.  And allow yourself to learn from ‘what was’ and transform it into a beautiful ‘is now.’

Change the course of your storms

week 20 blizzard part of blog

A neighbor woman, who’s daughter was also our friend, was watching us trudging along with no boots and light jackets.  She offered a ride knowing our mother was passed out from her late party the night before. We gladly accepted hearing her whisper with concern, “Those poor girls, don’t have a chance in this life.”

Fortunately for us we did not believe that.  Yes, our mother was like the wild trees misleadingly growing outside of the grove, howling like an angry wind and beating her own ground.  But, there were plenty of people all around us who stood tall through the storms.   Guiding and leading us, many without even knowing they were.  Their examples lead us to easier paths.  We watched them and learned  taking faithful steps, planting our feet in the same ground a place where plenty of nutrients were found.

don't let your future define youThrough them I discovered the scriptures. The New Testament, the Old Testament, The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and the Doctrine and Covenants.  Within their pages Prophets tell of success stories and how they came through their storms (trials).  Giving us all the promises if we follow their words, we too can stand strong, being a part of the grove, not effected at all by the wild trees we were born to.  We have the power to prune our own trees, plant seeds in fertile soil, and be a part of an eternal grove. Know the blizzards will still bite.  But, link yourself tight to the words of the prophets and you’ll end up alright.

One of my favorite scriptures is the tree of life Where Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, compares a seed unto the word of God.  your can find it on this link.


The Diabetic Chick and Depressed Rooster

The Diabetic Chicken and the Depressed Rooster.

cock flock

There was a know-it-all Hen, who thought it was my way or no way.  No one gave her any gruff when her feathers would puff.  She was always the douse clucking orders in the hen-house.  “Eat your beets… no more treats.  Plants and bugs that’s all you eat.  Take no pills  it’s a not part of our meals.”

“But, she’s sick,” The mother-hen scratched at the baby chickwater pick.  Fear stuck in her crop for the flop in her chick.   “She drinks and she drinks I fear if I blink she’ll fall in a wink and sink deep to sleep.  The farmer he claims, ‘ It’s type 2 sad chickendiabetes, we must be speedy the meds should be our aim.

Hen fluffed her feathers, puffed out her chin, as she huffed.  “Doctors, what do they know?  Chicken’s don’t need meds.”

She marched up to the old rooster who needed a boost in his roost.  His sadness would not leave no reprieve could he see.  He’d lost his mate, such a fate with great weight.  No smile could lift his trial.  It’d been quite some while, since dark bile filled his heart leaving his life in a pile.  With head bowed, he vowed the dreaded cloud would soon fall for he no longer had strength to be unbowed.  Except when he slept his dreams would intercept so an isolated corner is where he was kept……




no shame mental illnessWhile reading this, there is probably not one of us that would argue that a type 2 diabetics most certainly does need his/her insulin (meds).  But too many times have I heard people ignore the severity of clinical depression.  I absolutely believe in positive affirmations.  I know without a doubt we have the power within us to change our lives.  However, using the power of reason within you is also essential.  Some people just need a little bit more help and it is ok to recognize that it is part of the healing process.  There are times and for some it has been since birth that their brains do not produce the right amount of chemicals for them to have a normal functioning life… The Lord has blessed us with medication and doctors that can help with these debilitating diseases.  As well as he has blessed those whom have diabetes because their bodies do not produce the right amount of insulin.  They can eat a healthy diet, exercise…. And all those things will certainly help their disease.  As well as those with mental illness, Positive affirmations, exercise and choosing to get up and press forward will without a doubt help.  But, in no way should you believe that if you are doing all of these things and the dark clouds never seem to lift that you are failing.  Go further and get the help that our Father in Heaven has blessed us with.  And finish your story…..


pet vet….. The mama bird clucked loudly for the help of Mrs Pluck, the farmers favorite pet, who was also a vet.  Surely, I bet she was as smart as a vet.  For she did not fret, or let ignorance threat.  Quickly she sket the hen, getting her wet, from her bad bet.  Help was indeed needed to get health in great wealth.  Harmony sang in soft peeping bangs, after the flock taught the cock and a creed went through the block.  Help would come now around the clock to all of the flock.

How can I be happier

Our View of The World Comes from Within

The question asked this week: How can I be happier?  Here is an experience that helped me.

how can i be happier

The smell of spring was floating in the air, my emotions were in harmony with the sweet chirping songs the robins brought to the campus grounds.  My heart was full of thanks, that the days of frozen nose hairs and numb toes were thawing away with the frost.  The dimpled smile of an approaching classmate instantly informed me that the magic of spring sang in her heart as well.

I purposefully made eye contact with this happy girl and mustered up all the courage I had to frown back at her instead of returning the smile.  The strangest thing happened to me as I watched the sparkle in her eyes dull, her dimples flatten, and her smile turned upside down.  My heart dropped with the realization that my teacher had been right.  I stopped dead in my tracks, as this newly revealed truth quickly prompted me to pull out my notebook and pen.  I could hardly believe how one tiny act could have such a powerful effect on another…. Not just her but on me as well.  I no longer heard the music of birds, my heart felt empty, and as I turned my head I noticed for the first time the dark clouds that threatened to cover the shining sun.

kamry smileI documented my findings and carried on with the experimental assignment given by my professor to our psychology 101 class.  I found another student with his shoulders slouching, feet dragging, and the weight of his world pulling his mouth down in a hopeless frown.  I gave him an encouraging smile.  It felt like two cords where attached to each corner of my own mouth directly connected to my heart.  When I forced the cords upward into a smile, they pulled my heart strings up with it.  I found a direct correlation between my own actions and how I felt inside.  When his eyes made contact with mine, I saw a small twinkle of hope flicker in them as he returned my smile.  It was as if the birds and everything all around me sensed the change.  I could hear the birds chirp, felt the warm sun, and a refreshing cool breeze on my face.  What I realized that day was; the birds, the sun, the breeze… none of those environmental things knew what my mood was.  The difference was in me.  And the way I felt inside was exactly how I viewed the world around me.   I had the power to change the way I felt.  I even had the ability to make others feel a little bit better around me.

Our professor wanted to prove to us that we had the ability within ourselves to create our own dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins.   (These are the chemicals that are physically produced in your brain that make us feel happy.)  He gave us this assignment to walk around campus and smile at someone who had a frown on their face and frown at someone who had a smile on their face.  We were to document what happened, how they responded to us, and how we felt afterward.  This was a great way for me to learn.  As someone who learns by doing I have never forgotten this wonderful truth.

I understand now why the Lord asks us to open our prayers with a thankful heart.  Not to satisfy his ego but to help us view the world with happy eyes, to help us feel happiness.  May you all see the world the way he intended and help others to see it as well.  Smile, be grateful, and you will begin to feel it.

All things are possible when you have the knowledge of who you are.

All things are possible when you have 1-5-19 your happily ever after make the changes inside to see something differnt in the mirrorthe knowledge of who you are.











The question this week I was asked to answer is…. how did I end up in such a good marriage?

Facing your own personal demons is an absolute must in order to fulfill the dreams you dream for yourself.  My dream was to have a happy, peaceful home, where children were loved, and maybe a dog in the backyard.  I didn’t believe this was possible.  But, others had it.  So what was stopping me?  I had to tell myself this and I ask that you tell yourself the same.

When you find yourself in a cycle of self-destruction, you start off with the best of intentions setting goals and seeing them so close that you can almost taste the victory in them.  “Life is going to be different for you this time.”  We have all told ourselves this.  But, do you end up making the same mistakes over and over again?  If you do, it is essential to ask yourself, “What demons (fears, weaknesses…) are within me that cause me to make such destructive choices in my life?  What is it that haunts me that is keeping me from the reality I know could be mine?”

Relationships are great examples of destructive cycles.  It is so easy to look at the other person you are in the relationship with (friends, spouse, family….) and say,  “It is their fault, they hurt me.”  One thing we must remember in achieving our life goals is, we cannot change the choices or actions of others.  We can only change our own.  Do you find that your relationships with others is constantly contentious?  Are you the one that consistently has a partner that cheats on you?  Are you addicted to worldly substances?  If so, ask yourself, “Why?  Why am I making these choices?”

brroken lives can be fixedIt is essential to look in the mirror.  The reflection looking back at you is the only one who has the answers for you.  Ask yourself, “Am I starting the contention?  Perhaps you are not the one starting it but, if you choose to stay within it’s deceptive grasps you are a part of it.  You are the only one with the power to step out of it.  If you are the cause.  Take a step back, do some self-evaluating, and find out why something made you mad.  And fix that trigger within you that ignites the flame of anger.

Are you the person that finds yourself in abusive or cheating relationships?   (which by the way are one and the same?)  I think we all go through a faze of liking the bad boy/or mean girl.  But, some of us learn and move on.  If you are the one that doesn’t seem to learn and just stays or leaves only to find yourself in a relationship that ends exactly the same, ask yourself why.  I can tell you all things in life have a law of attraction.  You attract exactly what you think you are worth.  For me I had to pinpoint my own personal demons.  I was hurt by those I loved most at the most tender time in my life.  I truly believed I was not lovable.  I believed what I was taught by my caregivers.  When I took the time to stop looking outward for a solution and took a good long glance inward I found the problem.  ME.   I believed the lies.

However, my guardians didn’t love anyone.  It wasn’t just me.  It was them, their choices and nothing I did or said could change the choices they chose to make.  When I discovered that truth, I went through a deep depression, it was difficult because I desperately wanted the love they did not offer.  It was difficult to reshape old habits and retrain the way I thought about myself and the world around me.  But, once I realized one thing.  I AM A DAUGHTER OF GOD.  I am a princess of the most high king.  I am worth the love I have to give.   When I stopped trying to change others and just worked on ME.  I began to attract others that believed the same way.  Not only that, but I began to be attracted to those who freely offered love.

i am a daughter of godI tell you with all the love of my heart.  As a son or daughter of GOD.  Which you are.  YOU have the ability to attract exactly what you dream of.  Rather it be freedom from addiction, freedom from contention, or just to be loved.  You may have to fix some things within your own heart and ask yourself some deep depressing questions but, once they are answered you will find the strength to travel the road that leads to your happily ever after.

All things are possible when you have the knowledge of who you are.


Retraining your horrors


Retraining your horrors

1-3-19 Rewrite your (2)

Because it’s a start of a new year I wanted to share with you how I overrode bad memories.  Or re-booted my thought process.  I’ll start with the first thing I re-wrote.  Because, it effected my ability to sleep and then my capability to function during the day. I chose this one first.20190102_093907  I always knew I was afraid of the dark.  Why?  Logically, I could not think of a single reason I should be afraid.  “There was nothing to be afraid of.”  Non-the-less, my heart would race, red alert instinct would kick in, and I could literally feel the blood pumping in my veins almost draining all rational behavior as the sun would set in the horizon.  Why?  I asked myself that same question about my own irrational response to the dark.   It made me angry because something else beyond my control was manipulating my behavior.  But I wanted control back!  I just needed to discover how to take it back.

So I did the one thing I absolutely did not want to do.  I sat in the dark until I figured it out.  I started with small sessions.  prayer dark-01And it did not happen overnight so don’t get discouraged and quite if it doesn’t happen quickly for you.  It will happen.  I made sure I was in a safe place, with my husband close by, and the ability to turn on the lights if the darkness became too much for me to bear.  But, I sat, curled in a little ball, comforting myself by rocking, visualizing our Saviors arms wrapped around me, and begging our Father in Heaven (It’s important for you to know there is a higher being, someone bigger than you and the adversity you are overcoming, helping you through this.) To help me understand this reaction I was having to the dark.  When my heart started thumping, blood racing in fear, and the get up and run, flight or fight response came to me for no apparent reason… I sat, forced myself to sit a little longer.  I sat and asked myself and our Father in heaven Why was I feeling that way.  Slowly, the most terrifying memories would come out of the recesses of my mind and remind me all the reasons I was afraid of the dark.

Turned out there was a little girl inside of the adult me, that was terrified when the sun went down.  When the sun started to set, she had to go to bed, bad people came out of the shadows, and did bad things.  Those were very real, terrifying memories.  But, once they came out and I looked straight at them, 20190102_094825

(visualizing my saviors arms wrapped around me and my Father in Heaven watching over me, this gives you a knowledge of protection.) I could tell myself they were over.  I needed to tell me, the little girl inside of me, that had never dealt with her fear that I was safe now.  Re-train my mind into knowing that it was not the dark that hurt me it was the people I was forced to be around.  Now I was grown, now I could promise that little girl that she would not be hurt by those bad people because I had surrounded her with good people.  I actually said these words to myself, “That was then, this now.  You are ok and I will be ok.”   I would sit in the dark letting the memories come and then replacing them with happy memories I have had in the dark.

Some examples of my happy memories are playing night games with my kids, their giggles replaced sad cries.  Bumping into unknown objects became an obstacle that enhanced our other senses like smell, touch, and hearing.  We were amazed at what we could figure out in the dark.

What I discovered about the dark is… mentally we are only in the dark if we allow it.  It takes training, but we have the ability to lighten our own minds.  We have the ability to take back the control others and other’s choices have or had over us.

I love you all!  Hope this helps!



A Christmas Reunion

IMG_00771001This is the best way I can explain how I feel right now.  I imagine my heart being made up with little pieces of love that I acquire along the journey of my life.  When that love was taken little fragments of my heart went with it.  And I mended it in the only way I personally knew how.  I duct taped mine, so to speak, a temporary fix, by forcing the memories to go away.  But, they were a part of me creeping up and haunting me.  Nudging me, pushing me to act, address them, and move on.

Today my heart seems to be singing with the choir of Angels.  Overnight that duct tape was gently peeled away and my heart instead of a temporary fix was fussed back together with the love once lost and required again.  I spent two wonderful days talking with my sister.  I remember as a little girl loving her so much and wanting to be just like her.  But, because of life, the lies we’d been told, and fear engraved in us, we just stayed away from one another.  But, we talked straightened miss understandings out and decided to work together.

20181220_114914She brought me things from her father’s house (my step-fathers house) that she thinks may help as evidence in the case.  For many reasons I can’t yet share it with you but, I can say that we are sending it out to private labs for testing.  I pray that they find something.  cop carYet, Even if they don’t, I found something.  Someone to talk with that lived the nightmare with me.  Someone who wants to get to the bottom of this case.  And someone who may have the ability to help with that.

I talked to my step-brother the one I have told you about.  The one I was so very close to as a little girl.  Oh my goodness he was so funny.  He’s not crazy, as I was told.  He’s learned from his journey through life and a deeper understanding of life, more than most of us learn in a life time.  I am going to ask him to write down some of what he told me so I can share it with you.

What a wonderful Christmas for me.  I received the kind of gifts that only Heaven can bring.    I have to tell you the piece of my heart that had been broken, by loving a sibling and having them ripped out of my life with nothing but sad memories attached to them.  All those haunting memories healed by the power of knowledge.  Knowing they are going to be just fine.  That they are no longer suffering. 20181227_065125 It took one phone call to completely change my perspective.  It made me wonder how many phone calls each of us could make.  How many lives could be changed for the better by one simple call.  To a friend, neighbor, relative…, a simple prompting to call to reach out literally changed something inside of me.  My goal this coming up year is to never ignore a prompting to do little things for others.  I do have the power to change a piece of the world, so do you.  Follow those sweet whispering of heaven.  It’s the little things that change the world.

Christmas without my Stepdad

christmas with out john

Christmas without John

Oh How Glorious was the day.


We didn’t have a traditional Christmas that year.   Actually, I didn’t have one until I was fifteen and moved in with my daddy and my new mommy.  But, this was the Christmas that the power of CHRISTmas touched my young heart.  It was the year I understood what it was the sparkling lights that adorn the neighborhood homes stood for.  In my young mind, it was the twinkling of hope each smile of encouragement held.  The glow of strength and the representation of good in the police officers eyes. When he checked in on us my mother would scramble to be all, in outward appearances, that a kind loving mother should be.  Christmas gifts came packaged and wrapped in the most unexpected of places.  Our doorbell rang with no one there but 12 days of gifts. 12 days of ChristWhat we received on that front porch as far as physical things I hardly remember.  Yet, my heart has continually traveled back to that day when the knocks came filling our little minds with hope, happiness, kindness, and excitement for the next day to come.  Mornings began with a pain-free body.  Giggles and smiles were shared on the playground as I grew to comprehend why children ran and played.

Sugar plums dancing meant Becky, my mother, was not hosting her nightly parties at that house ever again.   Dawna and I, though left alone, danced to the sounds of Frosty the Snowman, the Grinch that stole Christmas, and Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer putting magic back into that season of our lives.  Though for me the truth of these mythical beings had been known for as long as I could remember. Yet, it was fun to fill our minds with the magical hope these cartoons held.

What I learned at Christmas that year and many years of poverty to follow.  Christmas doesn’t come wrapped with a bow.  It doesn’t come sparkled all aglow.  The snow doesn’t fall all on its own.  Love can’t be counted in coin or purse.  Sacrifice has no death.  The impact of charity can last a lifetime.  The sweetness of candy canes is not in the sugar but the promise of help they give along your journey.  The stable and manger though meek and humble hold a treasure of truth, an X on the map that leads to life eternal.  That dear sweet little boy wrapped in clothes came packaged so small and humble that night.  Grew to become the greatest gift to us all, a reflection of true love.  The shepherds, the Wiseman, the angels above ….. The cops, teachers, neighbors kind acts that came all around me that special Christmas day, they were all following the same light, guided by the light that leads to Christ.  Their actions all leading to that baby boy, King of all kings.  They were the angels in my life, sent from above, giving me yet another reason to sing glory to God in the highest.  Peace on earth good will toward men.  All he was and all he represented surrounded me that Christmas.  A light that can shine from within each of us.  A gift we all can share.


The CHRIST-mas Nails

The Christ-mas Nails

CHRIST-mas Nail

Dawna and I also found nails in the crawl space.  The interesting thing about these nails is that they are not nails that they would have been used in construction during the 1970’s they would not be part of a remodel or from the original structure.  Yet another piece of evidence.

Perhaps it’s the time of the year but, I could not help but think about the symbolism in my own life between the nails we found in the crawl space and the nails that hung our dear Savior on the cross.  Both nails were used by wicked people.  To imprison or do harm to innocent victims.  These symbolic nails of adversity and hardships are scattered throughout all our lives. The first nail in Christ’s life was his humble birth.manger

For Christ, there was no room in the inn. But, a lowly manager held together with nails, that was all the world had to offer him that night.  He laid his sweet head, breathed his first breath within a stable constructed with nails.

John, my stepfather, constructed a life full of nails aimed always at others.  There was no room in his heart for the Savior.

pictures-of-crosses-jesus-1127718-gallery - CopyOur Saviors life, he who lived to serve and teach others ended with nails.  They pierced his hands, wrists, and feet.  The wicked horrid decision by the men of that time.   Meant to mock, murder, and destroy all that he was. His death was not for him.  He was perfect.  He did it for each of us who have had people, circumstances, and situations in our lives with nails that are piercing and painful.  Scars undoubtedly come from these wounds.

christ handYet, the scars they left on our dear Savior, the scars life’s nails leave on us, are there to stand as a testament against them.  For in the end their nails, though not piercing us any longer will still stand against them.  We shall rise above the puncture wounds to our hearts.  If we allow the Savior to heal them.  Believe he will, believe he can.  Though we all carry scares they can strengthen and build character while condemning the abusers who never found room in their hearts for him who was sent to save us all.  No injustice in this life is permanent.  No sin that can’t be forgiven if we but ask for forgiveness and make room in our hearts for him….this gift is intended for all even for the abusers who were perhaps once victims themselves.  I have literally counseled with abusers this is a direct quote from one, “Shawna, I beat my children, my children beat their children and my mother beat me.  But, after I read your story I realized I can break this cycle.  The abuse will stop now with my grandchildren.”  She found room in her heart for the Savior and I have no doubt that the atonement is as much for her as it is for me and you.

A crushing sense of defeat and despair must have enveloped his disciples as Jesus suffered and died on the cross and his body was placed lifeless in the tomb.  The dark evening of his crucifixion was soon followed by his resurrection.  Unmeasurable grief replaced by overflowing happiness.

Each of us have scars we carry from this life but, I know as surely as the scriptures testify that those scars will testify at the end of this mortal journey of the person you are and the things you have overcome.  It’s a short journey.  What a comfort for those who have been disadvantaged in this life, to know that there is a purpose in our journeys.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith used the testimony of the Saviors death, burial, and resurrection as the fundamental principle of our religion, saying that all other things are only appendages to it.” (1)  Regardless of the nails, we have had in our lives, or the scars left from them, remember there is a purpose in your journey.

(1) https://youtu.be/o-o7hYlvE1Q Resurrection