Why would he let this happen to me? This was the question of the week.
The question so often asked by victims is, “Why, if there is a kind loving God, why did he let that happen to me? That’s a great question. One I have even asked myself on occasion. Not because I didn’t believe he was there for me or that he didn’t care. But I knew he had the power to stop bad people, so why didn’t he?
I think the answer to that question must first start with a few questions. Who are those people that you admire most? Why? What about them do you admire? I’ll tell you the top 3 that come to my mind: Helen Keller, President Lincoln, and Joseph Smith. I could go on with a list of people that I admire and look up to including my family and friends. But, for the sake of a shorter answer, I won’t.
I hope you took a moment to think about your personal heroes. Now tell me, did they have a carefree, not one trial or tribulation happened in their lives? Was it nothing but rainbows and sunshine that smiled down upon their lives.
All of the greatest heroes in history had tribulation. The ones that really stand out on the google search bar overcame enormous adversity. The hero that I reflect on often is Joseph Smith. Why him? Because he was the first person that I had ever heard say that he received an answer to his prayer. That God was real. I knew God was real he had answered my prayers, but my stepfamily refused to believe me. The fact that Joseph knew and had experienced persecution from it too, made him instantly my friend. He understood me. And I understood him.
Joseph was locked in a dungeon (Liberty Jail) and cried to the Father. I was locked in John’s dungeon, I also cried to the Father. Why do you have your heroes? Did you decide who your hero was from your experiences? From your own personal dungeons?
Jeffery R Holland said and I quote because it is so very profound and can’t be reworded. “You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life – in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced. read more
And I am here as living proof to testify that this is true! No one would ever choose to relive their trials. However, everyone should be able to look back and say what have I learned. How can I become a better person despite it or even because of it?
Spencer W. Kimbal words echo in my head often. “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God.” Faith Proceeds the Miracle
In no way do I believe our Father in Heaven wants us to be abused by others. But, he did know that some of his children would make bad choices, hurting others in the process. In answer to that question: Why did he allow this to happen to me? I must first ask one more question, “What are we doing here on this earth?” Once we realize we are here to obtain a body and choose to become like our Father in Heaven or choose not to. The answer always leads back to one word. Agency, something of which was one of the most prized possessions our Father in Heaven gave to each of his children. Something of which he will never take away. However, if we find ourself innocently in the path of someone else’s bad choices and we become victims it is not from a lack of love from our Heavenly Father. He will make up for their abuse. He can’t take away their right to act. But he can and will compensate for it if we allow him too. I can tell you with every fiber of my being that it was in the darkest, ugliest, horrific times in my life where the veil between Heaven and Earth became very thin for me. I know because of those times, without a doubt, that there is a Heaven, the separation we experience from life and death is but a small moment. That there is a God. And he does hear our prayers. Have faith in his timing. And allow yourself to learn from ‘what was’ and transform it into a beautiful ‘is now.’